by Caskhades » Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:28 pm
Sir Lancelot has a crush on his King's beautiful spouse. Day and night, he can't stop thinking about her breasts. Finally, in agony, he goes up to Merlin in his tower and asks for his help. Merlin ponders the situation and tells Lancelot that he can help, but it will cost: 1000 gold pieces. A princely sum, but Lancelot breathlessly promises to pay. Merlin, in secret, cunningly places a special itching powder in the top of Queen Guinevere's dress, and gives Lancelot the antidote to eat.
The next day, his queen in agony, Arthur asks Merlin for help. The Wizard dutifully informs the King that his divinations have informed him that only the saliva of a certain man can soothe the Queen's ailing: Sir Lancelot gets to spend several hours kissing and licking the Queen's glorious bosom, and is treated as a hero by the entire Court for his efforts.
Merlin then approaches Lancelot, asking for his payment. His lust satisfied, and aware that Merlin can't betray his secret without revealing himself as a co-conspirator, Lancelot laughs Merlin off, refusing to pay.
The next morning, Lancelot is awakened by a messenger summoning him urgently to the court: King Arthur has suddenly developed a terrible groin itch.
--- Always pay your debts.
Wyrd bið ful aræd