by Simple Minded » Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:26 pm
I've been saying this for years. What the West has is abundance is old people. Train them to be suicide bombers and if they carryout their mission successfully the child or grand child of their choice gets tax free cash or free college tuition....
Drafting Guys Over 60
This is funny & obviously
written by a Former Soldier...
I am over 60 and the Armed
Forces thinks I'm too old to
track down terrorists. You
can't be older than 42 to
join the military. They've got
the whole thing ass-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds
off to fight, they ought to take
us old guys. You shouldn't be
able to join a military unit
until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say
18-year-olds think about
sex every 10 seconds.
Old guys only think about
sex a couple of times a day,
leaving us more than 28,000
additional seconds per day
to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven't lived long
enough to be cranky, and a
cranky soldier is a dangerous
soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't
sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'
We are impatient and maybe
letting us kill some asshole
that desperately deserves it
will make us feel better and
shut us up for awhile..
An 18-year-old doesn't even like
to get up before 10am. Old guys
always get up early to pee, so
what the hell. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep
and since I'm already up, I may
as well be up killing some
fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the
beans because we'd forget where
we put them. In fact, name,
rank, and serial number
would be a real brainteaser.
Boot camp would be easier for
old guys.. We're used to getting
screamed and yelled at and we're
used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for
guns. We've been using them
for years as an excuse to get out
of the house, away from the
screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the
obstacle course however... I've
been in combat and never saw
a single 20-foot wall with rope
hanging over the side, nor did
I ever do any pushups after
completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind
of a waste of energy, too... I've
never seen anyone outrun
a bullet.
An 18-year-old has the whole
world ahead of him. He's still
learning to shave, to start a
conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that
a baseball cap has a brim to
shade his eyes, not the back of
his head.
These are all great reasons to keep
our kids at home to learn a little
more about life before sending
them off into harm's way.
Let us old guys track down those
dirty rotten coward terrorists. The
last thing an enemy would want to
see is a couple million pissed off
old farts with attitudes and
automatic weapons, who know
that their best years are
already behind them.
HEY!! How about recruiting
Women over 50...in menopause!!!
You think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!!
If nothing else, put them on
border patrol.
They'll have it secured
the first night!