Levitas

[Colonel Sun]

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

Conclusion:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[Colonel Sun]

A man named Ralph appeared before St Peter at the Pearly Gates.
"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.

"Once, on a trip to the Brecon Beacons in South Wales, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and smacked him in his face,
kicked his bike over,
ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground,
yelling "Now, back off or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago".

[Colonel Sun]

There's a new craze in Essex pubs.
Girls are putting vodka jelly up their s and having blokes suck it out with straws.
Police and health authorities are now worried about the effects of minge drinking.

[Colonel Sun]

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.

"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say.
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness.
Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"

The man was bewildered and ashamed.

This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.

[Colonel Sun]

On the other hand . . .





Hot.

[Colonel Sun]

http://mingle2.com/zombieharmony/free-dating-sites

[Colonel Sun]

[Sparky]

MSG makes one queer? That'll explain all the seismic activity in Japan.

[Colonel Sun]

[Colonel Sun]

[Sparky]

[Colonel Sun]

[Sparky]

[Tinker]

[Sparky]

Is that fnord even possible?

[Tinker]

[Sparky]

[Tinker]

[Sparky]

[Hoosiernorm]

[Tinker]

I don't drink anymore, and I never drank Guinness but that's too perfect.

[Demon of Undoing]

I have never considered hijacking freight as defensible behavior, but I now question my judgment .

[Tinker]

[Colonel Sun]

[Nonc Hilaire]