by ~ » Wed Apr 06, 2011 4:11 am
"At a difficult point in my life, I tried to become a Roman Catholic. I went on an induction course at the local RC cathedral.
There were about 15 new ‘recruits’ and it was pretty clear that each of them had some issues which had driven them to this place. Mine was bereavement. From the start it was obvious that the course leaders were prepared for the usual questions about historical accuracy etc. We talked about our lives and when I said to the group that I had two philosophy degrees the Catholics actually fell about laughing! Philosophy did not impress them.
It became obvious that this was not going to be about the ancient stories or trappings of their religion. These Catholics were selling something deeper, it was never openly stated but the good on offer was ‘brotherhood’. Everything in their discussions and body language came back to this sense of closeness and belonging, both to their God and to their group. Admittedly, for someone suffering emotional pain, brotherhood and belonging are potent attractions.
Right at the end of the course, after many weeks, I bridled and pulled out. The excuse I gave was that I didn’t believe Jesus was the son of God. This was honest, but was that the only reason? I had enjoyed the architecture of the cathedral, the incense, the repetitive stories, the cups of tea, the weekly routine, the friendly handshaking; so why back off? Looking back, I think it was the very core of their offer that turned me. Even at my lowest point, I didn’t want to belong to them. I didn’t want to sell what little emotional energy I had to their ‘brotherhood’.
...
Well, yes. I didn't leave with overly strong feelings, maybe a little sad that I was paddling my own canoe again, but also a feeling of light relief which counteracted that. Being honest was probably the best feeling..."