Levitas

[Tinker]

Oh come now, we always knew about Okinawa! Mr. Miyagi is from there!

[Colonel Sun]

[CgDs]

[noddy]

http://www.baronbob.com/winerack-winegaggift.htm

hm.. i could go to the cricket in drag ...

[Colonel Sun]

[Colonel Sun]

Will do.

[~]

"One dam problem after another..."

[Colonel Sun]

Although the choice of name is unfortunately close to the urban legend of the Wood Woodpecker slogan: "Touch Woody - The Internet Pecker"

[Sennacherib]

[Colonel Sun]

[Colonel Sun]

[Hoosiernorm]

http://thebreastmilkbaby.com/

Now that's different.

[Sennacherib]

[Colonel Sun]

[Language may be a bit nsfw in the English speaking nations]

[Azrael]

[Endovelico]

[Colonel Sun]

[Colonel Sun]

One dark night outside a small town near South Auckland, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant.They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact "

But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire station who could bring out the company's secret files

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Otara rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Maoris over the age of 65.

To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside, the other firemen watched as the Maori old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief,"What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Well," said Rangi, the 70-year-old fire chief, "The first thing we gonna do is fix the brakes on that f.......g truck!"

[Colonel Sun]

Meanwhile in Canada . . . a federal election is scheduled . . .

[Colonel Sun]

[Colonel Sun]

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon,
he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement,
but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control.
Before Armstrong re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut.
However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in the Soviet space program.

Over the years, many people questioned Neil Armstrong as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant.
On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong.
He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard.
His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window.
The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.
As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky,
"Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mrgorsky.asp

[Sparky]

Extra credit for pointing out which bush Sennacherib is hiding behind.*

[Colonel Sun]

[Colonel Sun]

[I am ST]

<<And I rode out to Death Valley
And I laid down naked on the floor
And I said "Hey God"
"How's it hanging tough guy"
He said "The age of specialization is over."
I said "Excuse me?"
He said "The age of specialization is over."
I said "Excuse me God, I thought that's what you said.
But you sound like a Time Magazine editorial.
If I go back to the others and say: I just talked to God
And the eleventh commandment includes the word "specialization",
We're sunk."
And he said "What do you mean, eleventh commandment?
There were only eight, right?"
I said "Ten, God, ten. You gave Moses ten commandments."
God said "Scuse me, I outta know. I only gave him eight."
I said "Well, I guess he added two more on his own."
And God seethed, and thunder and lightning crashed the heavens.
And God said, "At least I hope he didn't change the ones I gave him.
Like the one about the moose."
I said, "The one about the moose?"
He said "Yeah, you know, 'Thou shalt not be mean to a moose'".
I said "Oh yeah, of course, commandment six, about the moose."
And I thought, now there's chutzpa
I'm here lying to the Lord.
And I thought, well yeah, whatever, no one's perfect
Besides, I dont need that lightning jazz,
While I'm naked in the desert.>>
--Dan Bern, Lightning Jazz.