(E-)Smoking

[~]

[noddy]

[Demon of Undoing]

It's all much easier without a conscience.

I ran out of things I could smash where I could convince myself that doing so was actually the right thing to do. Cops don't really get to be what I'm talking about , and soldiers in the modern world tend to do it for the direct benefit of the worst bastards in the nation. The best I have available is waiting like an open grave. But that's not the goal. I don't want to be a goalie any more. I don't want to feel like beating the mandible off of people that deserve it. Given a bit to think it over , I generally feel sorry for them on some level almost regardless of offense. Eventually.

It's those thirty minute periods , when my adrenaline is up to the point of dry mouth and the hate is bringing up bile and blood , that I'd like to avoid. Back in the day, a constant immersion in select green ( and I mean from wake up to lay down twenty hours later) was the only thing I found that would tamp all that down and still allowed me to function.

Incidentally , as I used to tell anybody that questioned whether such a thing made me loopy , soft, waterheaded, etc ; I may not be as good high as I am sober , but high , I'm still probably better than average. And actually , that's not even correct. Talk about Afghanis high on hash ? The most ass I ever kicked , the best I ever shot ( provably and reproducibly , on a range) , was when higher than a motherfucker. I've chased people at 100 mph five minutes after a joint and came out smelling like a rose. Fought amateur MMA literally hitting a pipe between rounds. fastest time ever on a three mile run ? Like Cheech after a Dead concert.

I'm not saying it had no ill effects at all back then , but the same guy that said I smoked more shit than anybody that he'd ever seen and still hold down a job also called me the Ganja Superman after I picked a couch up off the roof of his car and carried it a quarter mile back into the woods ( Rainbow gathering , long story). If it was bad for me , it wasn't too frickin' bad.

[noddy]

lazy isnt in me, i never got the couch stoner thing, im still twitching with energy after skunk scoobs all day.
i was hard at it for years, never affected my work or job, never affected my skills, never affected anything i cared about ... made me better at all of them.

the problem was the things i cared about.

not wanting to preach, just felt id share my experience with it - still crave it from time to time, especially when im under stress and want to forget the horseshit - just decided i deserve to suffer horseshit if i havent got better skills for dealing with it.

[~]

[Demon of Undoing]

[noddy]

[~]

[noddy]

[~]

[CgDs]

[Demon of Undoing]

[noddy]

[Demon of Undoing]

[noddy]

[CgDs]

[noddy]

[~]

[noddy]

a crutch is a tool that lets you walk when you cant walk without it..

all good with bodgy knees, not so good when your knees are fine and you are too lazy to strengthen the leg.

unless your into that sort of self imposed limitation i spozes, how is the nozes ?

[~]

Far from the tozes, but smelling the roses, cuz I chozes.

[noddy]

i doubt i could smell cat shit smeared all over my face, speaking of which, better go and blow another fag. boom tish.

[~]

[CgDs]

[~]

[~]