Funny stuff

[AzariLoveIran]

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George and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so George says, 'Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him a hundred bucks. If you've got a question, I'll be parked around the corner.'
She's out there five minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, 'How much?'
She says, 'A hundred dollars'.

He says 'Sh*t. All I've got is thirty'.

She says, 'Hold on.'

She runs back to George and says,' What can he get for thirty dollars?'
George says, 'A hand job'.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollars is a hand job.
He says 'okay'.

She gets in the car; he unzips his pants, and out pops a simply HUGE male unit. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, 'I'll be right back.'
She runs back around the corner and says breathlessly,

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[AzariLoveIran]

[AzariLoveIran]

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Life is sexually transmitted..

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny .. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.







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[AzariLoveIran]

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[Azrael]

[Azrael]

[Azrael]

[Hans Bulvai]

[AzariLoveIran]

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The best program in that space is (was) the nightly Italian housewife striptease TV channel .. very nice indeed.

Spanish too have nice stuff ..

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[AzariLoveIran]

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Henry Kissinger once asked Chou En-Lai to theorize on

After a moment's thought, Chou En-Lai answered :





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[AzariLoveIran]

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[AzariLoveIran]

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" Hi. This is Sarah Palin. Is Senator Lieberman in ? "

" No, Governor. This is Yom Kippur. "

" Oh -- hello, Yom. Can I leave a message ? "



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[AzariLoveIran]

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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--Scottish Proverb

Men have a better time than women. For one thing, they marry later. For another thing, they die earlier.
--H. L. Mencken

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
--Anonymous

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
--Anonymous

A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then
smiled "It really works!"
--Anonymous

[AzariLoveIran]

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[AzariLoveIran]

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The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'

Maria: 'Well, Senora, there are tree reasons why I wan an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.'
Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'
Maria: 'Jor husband say so.'
Wife: 'Oh.'

Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.'
Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'
Maria: 'Jor husband did.'
Wife: 'Oh..'

Maria: 'The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in bed.'
Wife: (really furious now) 'Did my husband say that as well?'
Maria: 'No Senora...the gardener did.'

Wife: 'So how much do you want?'



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[AzariLoveIran]

[AzariLoveIran]

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Next Royal Wedding

470164_pic_970x641.jpg (130.69 KiB) Viewed 2185 times

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[AzariLoveIran]

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Did Phillip Fart ?

He probably does all the time... What the heck, he's almost ninety, and at that age you don't hold anything back even if you wanted to !

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Look at Elizabeth's face is the best


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[AzariLoveIran]

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[AzariLoveIran]

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[AzariLoveIran]

Jewish girl dating an Italian



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[AzariLoveIran]

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[AzariLoveIran]

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British humor


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel,
1/2 sneaky neighbour’s dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY !
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.


FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker.


Billy Connolly :

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time ?"




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[AzariLoveIran]

[AzariLoveIran]

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